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Monday, May 23, 2011

I'm in need of an overhaul!!!

Yes, that's what I said, I AM in need of an overhaul. I woke up the other day and realized that I am only 53 years young, with the body and spirit of at least a 59 year young person.  While I will be happy to be a 59 year young person, I am not yet.. so I should not look or feel like I am.  
My life has had many ups and downs as most have. I have experienced multiple amounts of stressors, and natural disasters and have learned from each. I just may write a book one day. 
I worked as a nurse for many years, after putting myself through nursing school while being a single mother of two. One of the proudest moments of my life other than child births was when I graduated from nursing school. I will never forget getting a dozen red roses from my brother, delivered to my home.. oh my, that was a first... and the last so far. Then my next most proud moments was when my two daughters graduated from High School.. and neither was hooked on drugs, or had a child yet. Wow, I did it. Awesome. 
OK so then, after the youngest moved out... horror!!! I come home to a completely empty home. I didn't see the girls that often, they were busy with their lives. Talk about a horrible case of depression... I hit it.. worse that I had ever. And I had problems with depression since I was eight years old. 
So anyway, that has been over ten years now, and I have been gliding through life, not my life, just life. The wrong man, the wrong house, town, job, probably just about everything. Two years ago my body began to fail me so much to the point that I was no longer to work..So now, I have to give up my career, the only identity that I felt I had left. 
Until recently!!!!!  I am a living, breathing, loving spiritual woman. My family thinks I have lost my mind. And I don't care. I am taking online classes on Wicca, herbalism, all kinds of stuff. I am daring to read, experience, and seek out information on what I am truely interested in and passionate about. The things that I had to push back out of my mind for years, to please other people. Now I am researching and learning about those things that interest me.   
So there is WAY so much more to come..... Oh, as far as the overhaul.. I am considering checking into the cost and information about some place I can go and do just that. A spiritual retreat, an outdoors experience. Where I can be with nature.. ahhhh, the beauty of nature.   I have very little income, and would have to save for it I am sure.. but I bet I can.  :)

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